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Ex-Wife Boundaries

I've never been in a relationship with someone who is divorced. My parents were divorced growing up, so the only boundaries and stuff that I know are the ones my parents had (which were firm boundaries).
Well, my boyfriend has a child with his ex wife. She also had a child before they were together but this child is still very close to my boyfriend.
They have been divorced about 3 years, we have been together about 2 of those 3 years.
I am just having a hard time knowing what boundaries are acceptable between his ex-wife and him. I don't understand why they need to chit-chat everyday when he drops off the kids. He says they need to talk to stay amiccable (sp?).
Today I am very irritated because he is helping her move. Him and I moved to a different place a few months ago and I offered to have some guys help us. Given, I had dated some of the guys in the past but we are just friends now (I barely even talk to any of them due to his jealousy and feeling guilty). He pretty much said that he didn't want them there and it wasn't appropriate.
So his ex was supposed to move on saturday with the help of her brother and some of his friends. Unfortunately, we got a huge snow storm and they weren't able to get much done.
So last night he tell me that she still needs help and asked him. Last night he could tell I wasn't very happy about it. Today he said he was going over there. I was just sitting kinda pissed off. And he asked if I was mad. I said-yeah, kinda. I just don't see why it is necessary for you to help. You don't even have a truck. He said she had a truck and needed help with boxes. I just don't understand why she doesn't have other guys available to help her. He gets pissed that I'm pissed and leaves and slams the door. I'm like-WTF? Am I over the boundary here or is he?

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Comments

  • No offense, but it seems like you may have some jealousy and insecurity in this situation.

    If he and his ex-wife wanted to be together, they would still be married.

    You should go along and help with the move too. So many posts on this site are about the terrible relationships ex's have.

    It seems like your boyfriend and his ex have a good relationship. Thank God!

    I am a guy posting this. My ex is a total psycho-bitch from Hell and it totally sucks.

    However, my girlfriend and her ex get along great. I get along with her ex too. As a matter of fact, we even hang out together sometimes - me and her ex.

    It is such a breath of fresh air with all the never-ending bullshit from my ex.

    Treat your man right, lead by example and you should have nothing to worry about.

    Good luck.
  • Speaking from experience, my ex husband who is also now my ex boyfriend has done the exact same thing. I always felt why, why, does he still help her. It is okay to help the kids but not her. Well, it turns out he was cheating on me with her. Trust your instincts.
  • He does not need to be over there. I am sorry but a divorce is a divorce. If she has him over there for that she will have him over there to do other things I mean geez get her own man. You will be planning something for you and him one day and oh uh the ex needs something else done. ITS CALLED A HONEY DO LIST AND SHE IS USING YOUR HONEY TO MILK THE HONEY. Why can people not get it that a divorce mean its the ending of things. The only thing he should be doing is for his kids. NOT HER.
  • My husband's ex-wife came to my home, uninvited, I've never seen her or been to her home and never wished for either.
  • Is it alright for the ex wife to show up to the home that his new wife and him share along with his minor kids, without letting the wife or husband know she is coming over or inside the house, just hanging around getting ready to take the kids to diinner?
  • Not appropriate. She needs to find her own support structure and your boyfriend is NOT it. If he does not want the same firm boundaries as you I would end the relationship because it will always be a source of contention.
  • My husband's ex wife moved in two months to help with my out of control teenage step daughter a big mistake.

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