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This would give me enough time to find a roommate and him enough time to find a place. The reason I ended things was because I just wasn't in love with him. It was a stale relationship, we are very different ppl and want very different things out of life. I don't think I was ever in love with him. So breaking up wasn't difficult for me, what was difficult was knowing I would be hurting him because I cared about him and respected him.
However...he has turned into a lunatic. He has dismantled all of my attempts to keep the peace. He discovered that I started dating (against my better attempts to keep it a secret in order to avoid the rage attack that ensued) and flew off the handle. Vandalized my property, called me horrible names, laughed at me and mocked me when I cried and tried to explain myself.
He now does this quite frequently. He goes back and forth between wanting to smooth things over and be friends and then in the next instant he is calling me names on the street and being genuinely cruel. I NEVER engage, I usually call a friend and flee. I have couch surfed for weeks and am rarely home.
I think break ups suck and I can understand his hurt, but never have I felt that name-calling or degradation is ever necessary in any circumstance.
He keeps telling me I'm a bad person and that I'm blind to how I treat other ppl. However, the only person I'm treating differently is him! I know he's just angry and I know I am not what he says I am but it's starting to get super difficult to stand there and take it.
Also...a paradox...I don't understand how I have become the bad person when I constantly allow him to verbally abuse me and continue living here.
I feel like I am losing my mind!! His best friend has become the same way. His gf broke it off with him for his drug use and suddenly she's the bad person! How does this happen??? My bf is four years older than me, but I constantly feel like I'm dealing with a four year old. What happened to maturity and dignity?? All I wanted was to co-exist together relatively peacefully until he had to leave. But he has done EVERYTHING in his power to make my life miserable.
Oh yes...and befriending my younger sister whom he used to hate is another kicker.
I don't understand why one would want to close a relationship with such pettiness and callousness. I have been SCORNED in past relationships but never was lowering myself to the levels of my ex an option.
For the first time ever, I compared his rage and verbal abuse to that of his mother's abuse. She used to abuse him and I often saw very cruel flashes of her in him when ever we argued. Now I see it all the time...and I thought maybe I owed it to him to help him become more self-aware so he can rectify his behaviour.....no such miracle. He is the almighty and is playing the victim role to a T.
Nine more days cannot pass fast enough and my last words are that no pain, no heartache, nothing is EVER worth hurting another human being intentionally. Relationships end all the time, some are just not meant to be...accept the fate and bow out gracefully with your dignity fully intact.
Unfortunately now, I have lost all respect for him and want nothing to do with him. What were once great friends are now enemies. I am so full of resentment and hatred and I don't hate anyone....way to go....
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