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The Phantom Girlfriend

We had a close, intimate, caring relationship for 6 years; we were engaged to be married; I felt she was the love of my life and she gave me every reason to think she felt the same way about me.

Then she suddenly began calling me on Saturday evenings, apologizing that she could not see me that week-end. It went on for 2 months, and I more or less decided she had to be seeing someone else. Then she broke the news that she had bought a house in a nearby county--so far away that it made it impossible for us to live there together. She claimed it was only an investment and only temporary, but we scarely saw each other at all for the twelve months that followed. She declined most of my offers to go see her and she only came to see me three or four times during all those months. Only once during that time did she stay long enough for us to spend the night together. She basically vanished from my life except for our nightly "Hello-Goodbye" phone calls.

It made it so much more bewildering that she claimed she felt as she did before, although she rarely spoke to me in a way that suggested she still loved me. Because of the depth of my feeling for her, I held on to the pathetic vestige of our former 'relationship' as long as I could. Then she stopped returning my nightly phone calls, often going two or three days with no call back.

Finally, three weeks ago, after she had not called back for 6 days, I stopped calling. It was time to face the reality that the relationship was dead. If it was worth anything to her anymore, she could call me and let me know. She has not called.

Even still, despite all her neglect and obvious lack of feeling for me, my love for her remains strong. I am determined to get past the pain and deception and bewilderment, but god knows how long it will take.

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