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if you love me, you will eat this chip.
I loved him and he loved me. But he was choking the life out of me by his double standard, controlling nature. He met me in the bar we were working at and he fell in love with me.We started a relationship and suddenly, i'm a suspicious character and i find myself defending every little action i do. I dance and suddenly, i'm dancing too close to a guy checking me out and that i did it on purpose. My job means i get hundreds of business cards from people i meet once and forget about and my room is littered with them. He finds one and he hits the roof when i can't remember the person on the card or how i got it. What am i, a call girl? A prostitute who takes a business card with the guy saying "call me"? A business card falls out of his pocket oncce and he can't remember the person either, but that's ok.
The worst is he has slept with many, many more people than i have ever had. and yet, he gets mad at me like i've been a complete slut in my past life when he's reached double digits and i'm not even closed to doing that. He makes me feel like a whore when he should be worse according to his standard of judgement.
And now after yet another fight, i officially end it and he is heartbroken and so am i. he's a good man otherwise, loyal, honest, loving and hardworking. But it's come to the point that even looking happy with him is suspicious. One of the final straws is that he was forcing me to eat some chips, and when i said no, he said that if i loved him, i would. i replied "what, it's conditional now?" he said he'll taje it seriously if i didn't and tired of being bullied, i said "take it seriously".
the mental and emotional stress has gotten too much since i've been through extremely hard times with him. I lost our baby to miscarriage on the 21st of December and was operated on, and on the 25th, yes Christmas day, he broke up with me. Mentally screwed, yes i was.
but we sorted things out, and then we had another fight and he pushed me. i lost it and said i take a lot of shit from him, but if he dares to lay a hand on me, i will kill him where he stood. he was mortified when he realised what he'd done, especially since i was physically abused as a child until i was nearly 21 when i left home for university in another country. he really seemed sorry and said he'd cut his own hands off if he ever hurt me. we patched things up again.
and then lately, the reason i broke up with him which followed the day of the chip incident, we had another fight and he took my keys to get his stuff in my room. i was waiting in the car for my keys, and upon his return, he tossed the keys at me and it hit me and it hurt. needless to say that after years of being punched about, physical hurt was not something i would take lightly from any man again.
I kept my cool and drove off, whilst he went to the bus stop. Then i just had this "fuck it, you don't get away with that easily" moment, and drove right back. I stopped in front of the bus stop where other people were waiting, took off my engagement ring and threw it in his direction.
He just called me and he begged me to not leave, and i had to be strong and said that although i loved him, i would prefer to be alone and get a break from relationship dramas for a while. He was heartbroken and upset, and hung up. I felt bad ending our relationship, but I had to.
Writing about the bad things make him sound worse than he is, coz i insist that he's a good man. But even a good man can be abusive in certain ways and a person can only take so much. In a relationship, the only person who can truly save you is you.
Rating:5.00
Comments
- Holy crap. Get as far away from this guy as you can!
- Please get the hell away from him. If he was a "good man" you wouldn't have to defend his actions like you are in the post.
You need to see someone like a counselor and deal with your past and this present abuse.
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