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Why doesnt he realise what he has lost
I just want to let off steam about my ex especially tonight. I have sent him two texts and he has not the courtesy to reply to me. How long does it take to write a short one out?? A min or so. Not much. He was the one that wanted to friendship as did I. But I am the one putting the effort into the friendship. His birthday was recent, and I sent him a dvd, but he didnt play it. He didnt look at it, but play some other dvd he bought himself. I thought it was awful of him I wont be sending a gift this christmas. I am sure when it comes to my birthday, which is soon, i wont get a thing from him. Most likely some lame text and thats it. I dont want to be a friend to someone who doesnt know how to be a friend. I sometimes dont know how to cope. I still have feelings for him, but my feelings are being wasted. I know I shouldnt be friends with him, but something in me has kept me here.I wish sometimes I could go back to the point where me met, but instead of saying hi to him, I should have ignored him and my life would now be pain free.
Just before we met, he was leaving me and throughout our relationship, he left me a few times. I was never secure emotionally with him, but i gave a hell of a lot of myself, physically an emotionally to this relationship, I deeply regret opening myself to such hurt and giving myself to him in such a way that I had never ever before with a man, cos I thought he was the one for all my life and we would grow old together, we did talk about the future together,, but when the chips were down a number of times, he decided to leave me once and for all last year and he dated soon after to rid himself of me, in every which way possible. I knew he made love with her, cos I felt it, that night I cant explain but he is now on some dating websites with old photos of himself, and new ones recreating the same poses he had back then, that I liked and especially one where I knew I really liked him. It hurts so much to see it again. He now has hobbies close to the type of work i do and I think he is trying to meet a girl who is like me but not me.
He is taking time off work to meet a girl whom he said he is friends with. I bet if I was to meet him he would not take time off for me.
I gave him so much love etc so much of me, that he left me and he hurt me deeply.
Now I struggle with everyday, the effort of keeping what little friendship we have together. I just wish he would wake up and realise the mistake he made in letting me go. I went through so much to be with him and he left me so easily
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