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His ex is driving me crazy!!

I have been married to my husband now for over 5 years and been with him over 7. He has a daughter with his ex wife and when I tell you that this woman is a psycho, trust me, she is a psycho. In the beginning, it was the normal 50 phone calls a day, phone calls that pertained nothing to the child. She has tried to have his business license taken from him. She has called the IRS on us. She has turned all of his family against him. She was using the child to get her way for a long time until we finally put a stop to that. One day, she called DSS on us and told them we were on drugs, we got drunk every weekend the child was with us, the child was being neglected and that the child was being sexually abused in our home. We took our drug test, which were of course negative, the other crap spoke for itself when the social workers came into our home. Well, after the fist drug test, they kept coming back to do random drug test because she kept calling in saying the same crap. We finally made the decision that the child just stop coming. It was sad, but it was the only way we would ever have any piece in our home. The child by the way was so brainwashed by her mother, that you couldn't hardly deal with her anyways. It has been over 3 years since we have had any dealing with the mother or saw the child and to this day, his ex is still doing her same psycho stuff. She runs my name all over town, down-grades me like I am nothing, she puts my husband down to everyone that will listen and makes everyone think she is the best thing in the world and we are these horrible monsters. He pays his child support and I have kept every piece of paper in a folder so when she grows up I can put that folder in front of her and let her make her mind up on which parent was sane and which was crazy......What else can I do?

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Comments

  • Wow! It's amazing how close that sounds to my situation!

    I would be the ex-husband in this case. My ex-wife has done ALL the same things, called the IRS, Child Services, bad-mouthed all over town ... everything you said.

    Unfortunately, I had to do the same thing. I gave up my visitation to avoid the ongoing dramatic fiascos and the kids being used as weapons.
  • the ex called cps on us as well saying that her child was being sexually abused now we are 2 and 1/2 years into it and just now they started to supply the mom with services..they finally figured out mom is a wack job! In the mean time I did like you and made a folder of all the court records for the child to read when she becomes of age.
  • y boyfriends ex IS a cps worker and she called abuse on us too! took me 6 mos to get it overturned to unfounded (it completely was; she had step daughter, 8 at the time so brainwashed; still does) he has three kids by her and it is a nightmare; he continues to have visitation, but she jerks him around with their so called verbal schedule and BF puts up with it! Lets his ex do what she wants; she already has completely poisoned the three against him and me! as well as her entire community BUT she keeps going back for more child support, that's for sure. So for the privilege of paying over half your salary in child support, you too can have your own flesh and blood pee in your face and tell you it's raining!
  • There is nothing more you can do, unless you take her to back to court and then you are looking at slander or defamation of character charges. But then you might not want to spend the money on this.

    You are doing the right thing by hanging on to every piece of paper to use in the future.

    Hopefully you don't live in too small of a town. If you live in a larger town, is there a possibility that you could move to another part or side. Where I live it is a fairly good sized town and we moved to the northeast side, and she was living on the south east side. The only thing that sucked was that I worked on the military installation and so did she (before she moved to CA) and she said a lot of crap about me. I was able to go to her supervisor and put a stop to some of it. They eventually fired her because she wouldnt shut up about me or he ex-husband (who also worked on the military installation).

    To be honest there is not much you can do, except do you best to ignore her and not get sucked into her games. Which I know is much easier said then done.
  • I have been with my fiance for 2years now and finally legally got divorved. We are supposed to get married but they call each other or he talks about their past alot. I found a text he sent her where he told her she was the real one he wanted to be with.He told me it was because she was threatning suicide again that is her excuse for everything. I am in a slump I dont know what way to go.When she found out he was getting the divorce she asked him to stop it.
  • Hi, I have been married for 11 years and my husbands ex wife is still as evil as ever. A few years ago DSS stopped collecting child support for her because she could not supply them with her address so we started to pay her child support direct. Well a few months ago she decided we were behind in her support payments so she went back to DSS and filed some crazy motion. Well we filed out taxes and the stupid witch got our income tax return. I find this very unfair considering half of the money was mine and I have no obligation to pay child support for their kid. Now the stimulus payments have gone out and they are giving the evil skank that too. I hate this women and I wish someone would put her out of my missery. She is always asking for money even more so now that the child is 17 and she knows the end is coming to her support from us. I can't wait to the day when we make our last payment and I can go lynch her. When I asked her if she thought it was fair to get my money she said she was entitled to it. I want to know if I have to support her kid why can't she help support the 2 we have.
  • This sounds like legally sanctioned stalking. This woman is out to just destroy her ex-husband for the fun of it. I have seen some women act like this and they will spend every waking moment to torment their victim. They then put on a sweet girl act with everyone else.

    There's a very simple way to beat this woman at her own game: Leave. Don't just stop visiting the daughter, but actually pick up and move as far away as possible. Still pay the stupid support, but go. Preferably to a lower income area which will lower the payments.

    Without him around, she will lose her scapegoat and it will be that much harder to put on her nice-girl act. They deteriorate quite quickly after that.
  • I'm divorced and remarried 7 years ago. We pay child support and recieve it through C.S.E. I dont understand why someone would pay child support and not do it with a check or get a receipt but more than that it can disgust a person to pay support and say they want to lynch the custodial parent. She is entitled to the support of the non custodail parents child also. Im other words its your husbands child. YOUR kids arent HERS. Theyre Yours and YOUR husbands. HER child is HIS also. It is HIS obligation and when you married him you had to know he had a child before you.
  • Hmm well the MRA'S better keep the marrige/sperm strike going.
  • For the person who talks about paying and receiving support, my husband always paid his child support with checks and money orders as well. So he DID have receipts, however, the courts don't give a rats behind about that...They will FIRST ruin your credit, put out liens, etc...and months later, THEN they give you the opportunity to prove them wrong. In his case, he proved that his ex lied, and yet it was not ever shown as "NOT OWED", but rather as PAID IN FULL, which means his credit was still ruined and everything else applied as if he actually owed her the money, had not paid and CSE later collected it...

    Knowing someone had a child prior to marrying them is NOT the same as knowing that the woman would go crazy and go after YOUR income or your sanity as well. NOBODY has the right to treat others this way...

    The "she is entitled" to support is another BS...no child of intact families is ENTITLED to extra money from BOTH parents...they are only entitled to the "basics" of life...ONLY children of divorce are entitled to extra money...

    I bet you that you probably stay home and don't work, and thus DO NOT financially support your children, as many custodial parents who receive CS do...
  • Maybe some advice from someone who has been in this battle a bit longer would help some of you.
    One mistake we made was not to follow up on things that my step-daughter was telling us her mom was involved in..we were kind of afraid of her because she was so crazy and a cop so she had credibility with people whe didn't know her well and we also wanted to protect the child from her and we weren't really sure that some of the stuff she made up about us wasn't coming from untruths the child told her to get attention but that turned out to be a big mistake because the child just thought we didn't care and over time her mom was able to use this lack of action on our part to convince her that we said nothing because nothing out of the ordinary was going on over there.. Now it is her normal.. First, if you are feeling like something is just not right or hearing rumors from others that things are not right in his ex's home there is probably something to them, don't be afraid to check into what's going on at the child's primary residence via a P.I. or any other legal means...you may just get lucky and find some leverage to keep her a little less on your case..very often the most unbalanced people know they have a problem and are threatened that you might parent better than them and this insecurity is what makes them act nuts and accuse you of being nuts! Secondly, if your ex is being sneaky get to the bottom of it however you have to ..install cameras around your house don't share plans to leave town with your step-child don't give them a key and get a safe or safe deposit box for that documentation because my husband's ex actually broke into our home and stole a lot of our documentation (medical bills reimbursed, unbalanced e-mails, check stubs, etc) put everything you might need to produce in court away..and then if you never need it you can at least prove to your child later that you did care. Good luck to all of you..you are going to need it!
  • I have a similiar situation. Advise please! I have a child wiith an ex from 14yrs ago. Have been remarried for the past 3 years. My ex has been remarried, had two kids, divorced, now dating someone 10 yrs younger then her. I've always paid child support. I'm supposed to pay 1/2 medical which adds up also. She has never bothered me about the medicla bills and I just paid the child support and everything was fine. Lately, for some reason, I have been recieving emails about every other week asking for money to pay for medical. I honestly don't have a problem with paying. I'm supposed to. My problem is the stupid emails she sends (snide) asking for the money. It feels like I'm being harrassed. Should I just tell her to no longer send emails, just to send proof of payments via snail mail and I will send out my 1/2???
  • You should check out the laws in your state. Many states have laws agianst parents degrading the other parent which could result in loss of custody. Also, pa a lawyer to write a letter threateninng to sue her for defamation of character and let her know that if she contacts you for anything other than child related issues you will file harassment charges with the police. It worked for me after 2 years of hell.
  • I hope someone can help me. My boyfriend has three adult children. The son is fine, he says whatever makes you happy. The girls hate me sight unseen. The ex took his computer and got my e-mail address off his contact list. I constantly am getting degrading e-mails calling me everything under the son. I feel like I'm the victim and I haven't done anything wrong
  • You all are not alone. I am about to marry someone who has a crazy ex-girlfriend and a horrible ex-wife, both have children with him. The ex-girlfriend has been horrible to say the least. The last thing she did was attack me and break my nose (the courts will do nothing about this, of course). She stalks us and everything. The ex-wife doesn't take care of the kids and has us do it, but then constantly criticizes us as parents. I feel physically and emotionally beat up. My boyfriend just runs circles around them because he knows he has to do whatever they want because he wants to see his kids. It is hard for me, because I love him but everyone is telling me to run from this problem before I marry him (we do have a child together ourselves). It is not an easy life and we are surrounded by mean people. Help! Life is not easy.
  • As for saving everything to give to her when she's 18, don't waste you time. Your post sounded like my life. I'm in the same situation and was praying for an end when she turned 18 but now she's going to college so he has to keep paying even though there is no relationship because of her mothers brainwashing. Something needs to be done with the legal system that allows these women to use their children as a means of revenge. I keep praying for some end to this nightmare but it seems there's no end in sight. We have minor children, I'm laid off from work and we can't even afford our bills but we have to pay for an adult to attend college. It's complete bull! It's enough to drive you insane. I keep waiting for Karma to come around. If I had done this to someone I wlould have had instant back lash from the forces that be but she seems to continually get away with it. She has turned his entire family against him as well and taken his daughter. It's a complete crime of which he has no recourse. The courts are set up to help the women and treat all men like garbage. We live in New Jersey, one of the worst states. If any one has any advice for me please let me know. We want to file for emancipation based on no relationship and he can't afford it. I think the basic needs of his minor children must come before the educational needs of his adult child. Does anyone disagree.
  • seriously, this conversation is messed up. as soon as you have kids u are no longer number one... if your ex hooks up with someone else, you will be broken hearted.. which sucks. but leave him alone! do right by youfr kids. let him see them , like i don't interfer with my ex's visits, have him pay a sesnsible amount for child support... then back off... have your time, get over it... and move o
  • wow! it is amazing how there are so many crazy people out there. My husband has a crazy ex wife as well.. What is going on? what happens to women when they seperate or divorce.. My advise is to young adults watch out for signs before you get into marriage and children all this does is hurt children in the longrun.
  • My boyfriends ex is just as crazy, make it so hard for him to see his daughter. He is a GREAT father and his ex girlfriend continues to make things difficult for him to see his daughter, she is even going as far as trying to move the daughter out of state 4 hours away. She is getting married this summer to someone else and still harrases us both and bad mouths us to the 2yr old daughter. I am afriad the child is becoming confused and is hurting her emotionally. The daughter loves her father and we have so much fun we we do get to see her...I just don;t know how to make this woman stop and move on with her life... I feel like the courts and lawyers are a waste of time and money no one helps they let this woman be crazy and I don't see how it is good environment for my boyfriends daugther... it's all very sad. If anyone has advice on how to deal please please let us know.
  • Same situation with me but my husband doesn´t have any kids with his ex, she became alcoholic and started taking antidepresing pills after they broke up, he feels responsible for that because he thinks that because of him she wont find someone else since she´s 8 years older than him and already 51, she keeps calling him everyday for everything, anyreasson, work, cars, properties they had together and he can´t do nothing about it or else she will go crazy again and do stupid stuff like she ussed to do in the past, she starts drinking and doesn´t realize what shes doing, but now she´s going to rehab every week, they broke up 7 years ago and he´s having the same problem with her all this time, feeling ressponsible for her whole situation, and what about me? I love my husband with all my heart but she´s driving me crazy, I can´t even talk to her because I don´t want to be responsible for anything that happens to her...I got to the point of hating her, i never hate no one but she´s making us misserables, I´m telling my husband to move to my home country so we can be far away from her and we are working on that...other wise I don´t think we will be together anymore

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