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You can't build happiness on the misery of others: ex wife needs to move on!
I have been married to my husband for 7 years. He has been divorced from his ex for 9 years - they have one daughter together. When we first married, we rarely saw her. There was every excuse under the sun, but it boiled down to control. After a couple of years of very sporadic visitation, our seeing her when it was "convenient" or the ex had a date, we took her to court and got set visitation.When we did see his daughter, there were endless phone calls. The ex would cry on the phone, "Don't you miss me?" or "I bought you something. Don't you want to come home?" with the daughter. It was impossible for her to enjoy being with us from the guilt trips and the bribes. She also loved to tell "stories" about us, including a lie that the reason they were divorced is because my husband cheated on her. Nice bedtime story for a 10 year old. Ironically, she was the one who kicked him out when she met "the love of her life" on the internet.
She constantly has a new man which she has no problem bringing in front of daughter. My favorite is the one she met in December, moved into her house in February, married in March and divorced in October. When she has a man, she is very full of herself, threatening lawsuits and posting on MySpace and Facebook what an "ass" my husband is. When alone, she suddenly wants to get along and even tries to call and confide in my husband. I loved the phone call I got to overhear about how she tried the "bi-thing" but it just didn't work for her. I guess women can't stand her anymore than men can. She even dated my best friend's ex-husband and then stalked him when he tried to end it, sending disgusting text messages about what she wanted to do to him in his "red chair." He had to threaten to call her boss and let him know how much she was texting at work for her to stop.
When daughter became a teen, it all blew up. By now, daughter knows she can manipulate mom and basically tell her what to do. Within one year, she'd missed 38 days of school, had boys stay the night in her room, was sneaking out, got an illegal tattoo and was on probation. Amazing how the ex's attitude changed when we took her to court for custody. My husband, not wanting to take his daughter completely away from her mother like she has tried to take her from him for years, offered full joint custody. We have her half the time. You would think that would wake her up, but no. She has just "trained" daughter to keep her mouth shut about what goes on at her house.
This is a woman who will ruin her own daughter's life if it will make my husband miserable. He has repeatedly tried to make her understand this is not about them but about their daughter and how concerned he is about the kind of person she is going to grow up to be. She doesn't care. She only cares that daughter considers her a "best friend" and doesn't get mad at her, and that she can use the daughter to get back at my husband every chance she can get.
I've come to the point where this must be a two-pronged issue: 1) She is completely jealous of the fact that we have a family and we are happy together while she cannot maintain any relationship. Instead, she has to poke and prod us through the daughter to keep us from being "too happy." She cannot stand the fact that we do things with the kids as a family, travel together, etc. (She took daughter's vacation pictures with us and uses them for HER MySpace and Facebook pages because she has no life of her own. How sick.) 2) She is the most insecure person I have ever met and is terrified that the only person who stays with her, the daughter, will some day leave her. So she is willing to let her do whatever she wants as long as she doesn't turn her back like everyone else in her life.
Rating:3.67
Comments
- Oh G, this is me in a few years time! I am simply SICK and TIRED of her bullsh*t! I wonder what would happen if I walk over to her and give her a backhand slap accross the face? I sometimes imagine it when she starts her sh*t...
I am afraid I might do something someday and then I cannot be held responsible, because of this constant verbal abuse for the last 4 years...Oh and I am the new wife...go figure - Wow...this is my life. The ex is more concerned about money and bribing her kids into liking her than being a parent. Sad. She is so jeleaous of me it is not funny. It's been 10 years already! My advice: continue to be the best role model for the daughter...you are her only shot of knowing what a normal relationship should be.
- So nice to hear I'm not in the boat alone. Was going crazy today after speaking to an attorney. Attorneys are full of shit anymore , I guess because they have to be in order to make money. They don't want the boring cases where right is right and wrong is wrong.
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